Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

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I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder only if a strong foundation of love and friendship has already been laid down. The absence creates an awareness of what beautiful qualities the missing loved one brings into the relationship, such as the kind words, warmth, tenderness, care and all the little other pieces that makes it excruciating to be without or rather to pine for.For longer periods of absence, that should be some form of communication exchanged if only to put each others mind at ease on one another’s well being. There should also be a legitimacy for the long duration spent apart, perhaps for studies or an overseas assignment. But the most important thing of all, is that both parties are committed in the relationship.

On the flip side, I believe absence can make the heart bitter and eventually spiteful too. This happens when the foundation is not strong or if the party feels as though as they are living separate lives. Perhaps due to excessive overseas assignments and limited time spent together as a result. Or it could happen even domestically where one is totally self absorbed, in work or personal hobbies. After all what we ultimately want, is to share our lives with someone. The joys, sorrows, trials, tribulations and all the little idiosyncrasies life has to offer.

On Fatherhood

I remember it like it was yesterday, I doubt I will ever forget unless of course my mental faculties fade away. As it was the one time in my life where I found that being a man, I could actually cry tears of joy. This happened when I first laid eyes on my first born Seth. Within the day of course I experienced a multitude of emotions all rolled up into one. It was exhilarating, agonizing, joyful, filled with anxiety and a whole lot more.To think that prior to being Dad I never really liked children, I was alright being around them for awhile or even playing with them but had no special feelings towards them. Then when the day came we learned we were pregnant; Oh boy! I honestly did not know how to feel, Yes! it was a confirmation that I was a virile all powerful male..*blink**blink* and I was happy no doubt about becoming a father. But I was also terrified, I started worrying about what kind of father I would be? Would my baby be born normal? Would I be able to care for him or her? Would I be able to give him or her a good home? Would I be able to be at very least half the man my father is?

Now 6 years later I find myself still worrying, will they have a good future with a good education? and the lists goes on. But now I can honestly say that I cannot imagine my life without them. And that I truly love them with all my heart and soul. I thank God for giving me two healthy boys Seth and Kenan. I shudder at the thought that he might have given me a daughter? Knowing the person that I am, my worries would be a hundred fold!

I suppose like most parents, we do the best that we can to the best of our abilities. And if you asked me what you could do to be prepared for Fatherhood? I would say……that no matter how prepared you think you are, you will never be! For being a Father transports you into a world of surprises that never ends. ( Well at least for me it hasn’t ha ha )

Chris Rice – When Did You Fall

From the album Amusing

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at it’s joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise
Chorus:
When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right there before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise
Chorus:

Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?

Click Play

Silence Is Golden

There are times when we should open our hearts and let others know how we feel. For it can be a liberating experience, for all parties. But there are other times, the need outweigh the necessity and you end up embarassed and looking the fool. So ponder over it carefully before making your decision.The old saying goes, “Speech is silver, Silence is golden.”

LLWAP ver 0.2



Yo! Yo! for all you cats wondering what LLWAP is well….ha ha it’s Living Life With A Passion!
Last night I was invited by babycakes to the Good Vibrations Festival featuring hip hop legends Beastie Boys, Jurassic 5 and many more kickass artistes. However by the time I got there it was midnight and the show was almost over, but at least I caught the Beastie Boys live for a good hour or more. We then made out way down to Zouk for a post party. The plan was to explore all the different hotspots within the premises but we ended up only at one called ‘Phuture’ because the Dancing Diva was soooo at home and so were we, so we danced the remaining hours away. Well an ‘Uncle’ I may be but I am pretty sure I move better than most of the youngsters *winks*

HeartBreak

I felt my heart break today, I knew not that it would,
Sheer agony tore through my very being, and yet I rather it be mine.
Pain whispered to me to tell me that I am still alive, in loud echoes only I can hear.
Broken crimson shards to be pieced together once again!I have walked through the fires to be reborn,
I am stronger and better for it!
My heart is once again pliable for I will it not to turn to stone,
And I will gladly go through it again, for without sacrifice there is no Love!

Goodbye My Love Goodbye – Demis Roussos

hear the wind sing a sad, old song
it knows I’m leaving you today
please dont cry or my heart will break
when I go on my way

Chorus:

goodbye my love goodbye
goodbye and au revoir
as long as you remember me
I’ll never be too far

goodbye my love goodbye
I always will be true
so hold me in your dreams
till I come back to you

see the stars in the skies above
they’ll shine wherever I may roam
I will pray every lonely night
That soon they’ll guide me home

Click Play

Broken Telephone Line

How and when does it happen? Why does communication suddenly become so hard between friends, parents, spouses or colleagues? Would you agree that majority of breakups or fallouts are caused by poor or ineffective communication?

Some examples of how the telephone line gets broken:-

  1. When the person shutsdown and clams up, basically refuses to speak, return calls or smses.
  2. When a person adopts the “I am holier than thou!” attitude, basically he/she feels so strongly about the subject that they would not stand to reason or discuss in depth.
  3. When the person feels that it would be a waste of time to even try talking, basically he/she feels the other would not change or stand to reason. Or that the topic has been discussed at length on numerous occasions without bearing fruit.
  4. When a person feels that they will be walking on eggs shells, that is to say they will be met with an explosive emotional response.

Well if a relationship is worth salvaging, I would think these would be the necessary steps to repairing the telephone line or strengthening it so that it is not so easily broken.

  • Go into the discussion with an open mind and heart and sincerity. ( hold hands if feasible )
  • Be ready to forgive and to be forgiven.
  • Practise emphatic listening, hence seek first to understand then to be understood.
  • Do not to bring up past issues which have no relevance to the current discussion.
  • If you feel things heating up, take a step back…a deep breath and keep cool.
  • Try to find a “Win, Win” situation whereby both parties win more than what they brought in. Otherwise go for a compromise.
  • If however a compromise cannot be sought then at least agree to disagree and find some other common ground.
  • If you stay in the same home, make a daily effort to talk about things in general and share some humour whenever possible. A simple “how was your day?” does wonders for the relationship.

Now if only I could take my own advice then perhaps I can strive for sainthood ha ha.

My Sweet Obession

Oh! my sweet little obsession!Bitter sweet pangs shoot through my heart, Burning hot unbridled passion!Amuse, bemuse, abuse the bard!

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

I have for the longest time pondered on what this phrase meant. Afterall how can such a wonderful thing such as familiarity, of which I associate with being accustomed to someone evoke such a negative emotion such as contempt? The general perception is that as one gets closer to another, he/she will start to find fault with or disrespect that person.Perhaps there are more scenarios that could lead to this, but for now I can only think of three. The first scenario is about the individual who is overly eager to be close to another. So much so that he/she will do or say almost anything to be included in the other person’s life. This sad individual however comes across more of a nuisance or an inconvienient fiend.

The second scenario is about the individual who takes the other for granted in a very close relationship. Hence the feeling of resentment that one has put so much more into the relationship to make it work, whilst the other appears to be inattentive or indifferent.

The third scenario is one that I find the most tragic. An innocent enough relationship of common interests is born with an exchange of love and friendship. However as the relationship progresses someone either becomes possessive or bossy. One person tries to tell the other how he/she should live and are overly concern with his/her actions or decisions. This basically ‘suffocates’ the relationship as it crosses over into the privacy and another’s right to personal determination. The bond which was so lovingly forged could easily be destroyed as a result.
Perhaps if any such discomfort or anguish could be communicated early then such a relationship may still have a chance of being salvaged.

A Letter To My ‘Unworthy’ Friend

Dearest xxxxxxxxx,It eats at me to constantly see you in pain? You have so much to live for and yet you do not seem able to open your eyes to all the beauty and joys around you. Why wallow in depression? It serves no purpose, and it bears no fruit. Hopelessness is generally experienced by those who feel they have no one to turn to? But I am here for you and so are so many others if you allow them to. In life if you strip away all the luxuries, what is really needed to survive is Food, Clothing, Shelter, Love and a desire to live life to the fullest.

I think it is equally important to care for and listen to your body as well, that is you need to eat properly, get enough rest and maybe even take supplements because an imbalance can wreak havoc on the mental faculty.

You have told me that you felt unworthy of my friendship. I did not respond….as it hurt me to think that you would put me on some pedestal. Instead of standing close, next to me where we could comfort one another in our time of need.

Well for now, all I can do is to pray for you and be there when you need me. And you don’t have to say a word in my company, unless you want to.

Warm hugs,

P.S. It is our imperfections that make us Human….and being human allows us to seek perfection.

An Attempt At Swing / Lindy Hop ( 05 Feb 2007 )

From one that watches fairys’ dance,
Life if but a great illusion,
A poetical trance perchance,
Mingled with utter confusion.

As far back as I can remember the only partner dance I have been a part of, is that of the slow dance. Of course I have participated in my fair share of dances, that is dancing to the likes of disco, pop music, techno and somehow even managing to bluff my way to cha cha. I’ve watched my parents glide to the waltz and Uncles and Aunties do the jive, and a variety of other dances. I grew up watching Broadway musicals and have been a fervent follower of dance movies. And though I have always told myself that one day I would take up dance classes, I never got round to it. Well apart from being on the relatively shy side, I occupied myself with mainly sports like rugby, badminton, squash, soccer and so on and so forth. So when the dancing diva herself invited me to attend a ‘taster’ class for Swing I reluctantly agreed. Mind you! Guys would kill to be in her company and I am not exaggerating………ok so I am a little. But I was overcome with fear, just the thought of venturing into unfamiliar territory was daunting. So timidly I made my way with her to the Arts Cafe at the Esplanade, constantly planning an escape en-route. So when the window of opportunity grew smaller with our approach, I decided that I would explain to her that all I really wanted to do was really just sit down and watch, so that I may build up the courage for the next ‘taster’ class. With her…..RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!I found myself on the dance floor awaiting instructions from a very amiable dance instructor who goes by the name Sinclair. I honestly cannot remember all the instructions given that day, but here is what I do remember…..(apart from my heart beating awfully fast) Sinclair started by putting everyone at ease ( or at least he thought I was too) by saying that so long as you can walk….you can Dance! The class was split down the middle, boys on one side and girls on the other. He then started showing us how to do the basic which was a count to the beat of Step…Step….Hold….Step..Step Hold. Next was to pair us guys up with ladies and this was on rotation so you did not stick to one partner very long. ( I know it sounds like speed dating but No! duh? ) The guys learned to hold the girls hand using their left in a very relaxed manner forming a kind of U shape, whilst their right hand was emphasized to be placed square at the back touching the bra buckle. ( I suddenly pictured myself in my youthful days mastering the art of unhooking them, till one day I struggled with one! Turns out, as she later showed me…that the clasp was in the front ha ha) Anyhow we then learned to move using the count, and as we progressed. We learned to incorporate some basic turns all to some amazingly lively jazz music. I must say I was getting a tad dizzy with all the turns because I probably was doing it right. Also it is amazing to see all your female partners laughing when you dance with them, I really hope they were laughing with me and not at me. But looking on the brighter side, we all had fun learning it together, just that some had more fun then others.

Kate the darling dancing diva that she is…would not leave me alone. That is long enough to recover from the exhilarating, heart racing and awkward moments I had just shortly experienced even though the class had ended. She insisted I practise….practise…pracise! and offered to guide me as long as I needed or until closing. I was relieved when partners would constantly sweep her away to the dance floor as she is very passionate about dancing. Moreover she is such a joy to watch on the dance floor. I cannot thank her enough for the encouragement, support, opportunity and even memory. After all the experience was akin to having a ‘first kiss.’So how? Would I take up dance classes?

At this point I would say…….ask me again in the near future. *winks*

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