I remember it like it was yesterday, I doubt I will ever forget unless of course my mental faculties fade away. As it was the one time in my life where I found that being a man, I could actually cry tears of joy. This happened when I first laid eyes on my first born Seth. Within the day of course I experienced a multitude of emotions all rolled up into one. It was exhilarating, agonizing, joyful, filled with anxiety and a whole lot more.To think that prior to being Dad I never really liked children, I was alright being around them for awhile or even playing with them but had no special feelings towards them. Then when the day came we learned we were pregnant; Oh boy! I honestly did not know how to feel, Yes! it was a confirmation that I was a virile all powerful male..*blink**blink* and I was happy no doubt about becoming a father. But I was also terrified, I started worrying about what kind of father I would be? Would my baby be born normal? Would I be able to care for him or her? Would I be able to give him or her a good home? Would I be able to be at very least half the man my father is?
Now 6 years later I find myself still worrying, will they have a good future with a good education? and the lists goes on. But now I can honestly say that I cannot imagine my life without them. And that I truly love them with all my heart and soul. I thank God for giving me two healthy boys Seth and Kenan. I shudder at the thought that he might have given me a daughter? Knowing the person that I am, my worries would be a hundred fold!
I suppose like most parents, we do the best that we can to the best of our abilities. And if you asked me what you could do to be prepared for Fatherhood? I would say……that no matter how prepared you think you are, you will never be! For being a Father transports you into a world of surprises that never ends. ( Well at least for me it hasn’t ha ha )
Filed under: Heartfelt
