Be Careful And Be Safe…

Desperate times calls for desperate measures….

Although there have not been any alarming statistics yet published, it is only a matter of time that crime and suicide rates will be on the rise.  Hence it is better to be safe than sorry, so it is now time to be more cautious.

  • Now is not the time to flash your jewellery or expensive items.
  • Beware of Phone scams, kidnap scams, lottery scams, tricksters impersonation of law enforcement officials advising victims to remit or transfer money to designated bank accounts etc.
  • Beware of pickpockets
  • Safeguard your belongings and don’t leave them unattended.
  • Lock your doors and windows with secure locks, not those that can easily broken into.
  • Do not leave spare keys under the doormat, flower pots, electric meter boxes etc.
  • Or leave notes lying around annoucing that you are overseas or not around etc.
  • Cancel all deliveries egs newspapers when you are away for an extended time.
  • Ask your trusted neighbours to keep an eye out for your property.
  • Never open the door for strangers!
  • Ask someone to escort you up the elevators if it late at night esp. if you see suspicious characters are loitering around the lift landing.
  • Avoid dark deserted shortcuts.
  • If confronted surrender your belongings but note distinct features of the culprit.
  • Do not lend your mobile phone strangers unless you are prepared to lose it.
  • Always walk facing oncoming traffic if possible hold your handbag on the side away  from the motorists.
  • Do not leave valuables in your car and park in well lit area.
  • Do not be lured by strangers who offer lifts or presents, or on the pretext of asking directions for help.
  • Check your credit card statements carefully and regularly, so you can alert your bank of any unauthorised transactions immediately.
  • Shop online only on reputable sites.

And if you know of anyone who seems exceptionally depressed lately you may want to keep this numbers handy…

SAMARITANS OF SINGAPORE (SOS): 18002214444

SINGAPORE ASSOCIATION FOR MENTAL HEALTH

Helpline: 18002837019

CARE CORNER MANDARIN COUNSELLING: 18003535800

julianwebsig

JokeGram..

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.

The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye

while covering the right eye.

The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which, that the eye

doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag, cut a hole to see through,

covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As

he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.

“Look,” said the doctor, “there’s no need to get emotional about

getting glasses.”

“I know,” agreed the blonde, “But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.”

Inheritance

————
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widowed father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. 
So one evening, he went to a singles bar, where he spots the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, her natural beauty takes his breath away. 
“I may look just like an ordinary man,” he says, as he walks up to her, “but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.” 
The woman went home with Charles that evening……and the next day, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much smarter. 
When will men ever learn? 

Onions & Christmas Trees

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?  The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there’s three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”

“Onions?”

“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, “Mom, how many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?”

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?”

“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.”

Is Man Bringing Destruction Upon Himself?

 

  • When he fight wars to gain more land and treasures?
  • When he builds weapons of mass destruction?
  • When he engages in unatural sex?
  • When he reaps more than he sows?
  • When he fishes more than he can eat?
  • When he destroys nature to seek what he wants, and wants more than he seeks?
  • When through his greed and the greed of this fellowmen brings about a world financial crisis?
  • When he makes decisions and fights for an ideology contrary to the Word?
  • When he takes a life for whatever reasons?
  • When he incites hatred for his cause?
  • When he thinks he can control the outcome of his own living ‘creation’?

The list goes on and on…..

When will he ever learn? When it is too late?

Hymn – Prodigal Son

Prodigal Son

1. Father I have sinned, help me find my way,

Remember not my sins, just let me hear You say

Chorus

I forgive you, I love you. You are mine, take my hand

Go in peace, sin no more, beloved one.

2. Father I have turned, my back and walked away

Depended on my strength, and loved life my own way

3. Father I have closed, my heart to those in need

Thought only of myself, a victim of my greed

4. Father I’ve returned, I’m home with You to stay

Standing by your door, knowing that You’ll say

(The beautiful tune can be found HERE in midi format so you can try and sing it.)

And so the journey begins……

ashwed21

I Pee Standing Up And Sitting Down…

Just not at the same time! ha ha!  Whomever tells you that it makes him less of a man if he sits down and pee is either a red neck, a caveman or simply doesn’t have a clue to what manhood is really about!  Who in his right mind would wake up with an erection and start peeing in his own toilet, knowing full well the mess he is almost certainly going to make?  Not I! 

The beauty of being a man is that we have a choice; So we don’t have to worry if  we are in a forested area or simply in a hell hole of what was once known as a toilet, you probably know what I mean if you’d experience the conditions the toilet is kept in some places!

And my dear brothers, if you somehow have a condition which forces you to sit and pee, well think nothing of it! You are still a MAN and that isn’t going to change whether you sit or stand! 

Oh and leaving the toilet seat up when you have women at home is just plain inconsiderate, then again if you just simply overlooked it once in a while then you don’t deserve the long lectures that follow.  And whilst I feel for you, I personally haven’t had that problem at home, because we aren’t as petty about such trivial things!

Finally to my fellow men…..may we pee gracefully and smoothly to a ripe old age!

julianwebsig

Movie – Outlander

Starring: James Caviezel, Sophia Myles, Jack Huston, Ron Perlman
Director: Howard McCain

Sypnosis :  During the reign of the Vikings, Kainan (Caviezel), a man from a far-off world, crash lands on Earth, bringing with him an alien predator known as the Moorwen. Though both man and monster are seeking revenge for violence committed against them, Kainan leads the alliance to kill the Moorwen by fusing his advanced technology with the Viking’s Iron Age weaponry. 

Well I was going to watch ‘The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button’ but chose ‘Outlander’ instead because I wanted an out of this world distraction.  Boy did I get my money’s worth!  Can you imagine watching Alien/Predator, 13th Warrior, Beowulf, Pathfinder all rolled into one and is not even a comedy but rather a sci-fi meets action drama movie? Well this movie isn’t for everyone, especially those who crave either pure action, pure drama or simply one of the generic genres.

I on the otherhand rather enjoyed this rather odd ‘blended’ movie, after all every once in a while it is good to watch something totally new and which stretches once imagination.  So in short my advice is leave your mindset at the door and you’ll certainly be entertained. 
julianwebsig

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