Joke Gram – Short & Funny


# 1

Wife: You  always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When  there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem
can there be greater than this one?”

# 2

Girl:  When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married  yet.

# 3

Son: Mom,  when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

# 4

Wife to husband: “What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the
night?”
Husband to wife: “Golfing with friends, my dear.”
Wife to husband: “What? At 2 am?”
Husband to wife: “Yes, We used night clubs.”

# 5

A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my
father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the  woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO
LEFT YOU A  FORTUNE”

# 6

Father to son after exam: “let me see your report card.”
Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his  parents.”

# 7

“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate.
“Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in  his 1932 Rolls
Royce.”
Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What ‘s so bad about that?”
“He was the original owner.”

# 9

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you
married her?”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”
# 10

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

# 11

“Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON  stamps in the U.S.?”
Answer:  “Because people started licking the wrong side.”

# 12

A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me – my pretty face
or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of
humour.

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