A Letter To The ‘Warden’

Dear Ben,

I am not too certain if that is indeed your name, because I am very much better with faces.  And so if I am at all mistaken then I sincerely apologize.  You might find it a little odd that I am writing to you, even though in all likelyhood you would never get to read this letter.  This I suppose is just my way of expressing what it is that has been gnawing at me over the last two days.

It has been over twenty five years now, and we both have changed so much that it may surprise you to know that the recent incident in Church was not our first chance meeting.  In actual fact, we were from the same Parish in Toa Payoh where you had been quite active in church activities even back then.  I might even have been your student at one time for Sunday school classes, or were you just a relief teacher then? That bit eludes me………But what I do remember clearly about you, was that apart from you being very much slimmer and trim, you were actually a very nice chap!  Humble, almost always smiling and hardworking. 

Then late last year I saw you again at a coffee shop near my home.  On that occassion you were with Father Cyril and another gentleman having breakfast.  I believe you drove them there and while in some serious discussion of sorts, you glanced my way with no recognition in your eyes.  Didn’t matter to me because we were never that close to begin with. 

So why did I react the way I did when you approached me?  Well simply because in that moment, you looked like a complete stranger!  A black faced ‘prison warden’ barking out orders!  Then the ‘escort of the prisoner’ followed by what I could have mistaken as a ‘challenge’ to step outside?  Well I’ve always known that people would change over the years but what had you changed into?  It appears that you care enough to volunteer your services to the church, but what happened to the human element? Are you not suppose to guide and help the community?  If I was in your eyes the ‘least of your brethren’ in that moment of time, was such a harsh reproach in order?

I am not proud of my own behaviour in that situation either and even though we had made our peace in Church, I am still in need of  God’s forgiveness.   And while I will continue to pray each day for personal forgiveness, I pray also that if  I am ever chosen to serve the Church in any capacity, that I will always remain it’s humble servant.

2 Responses

  1. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. 😦 I wish for many many pleasant future encounters 🙂

    • Finally I get to hear from you….oh well…hope so too! 🙂

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